In the midst

I spent Sunday writing first week plans, then I wrote them again, then I went for a run to clear the jumble of thoughts swirling around in my head, then I scribbled some notes on a tablet and decided that I would take this week day by day.

And that's where I am...in the midst of the onslaught of teaching. I can think of it in no other terms. Maybe we can call it the "The Teacher Hole". Welcome to endless hours of planning, managing, running around, creating, constructing, and delivering. The past two days have been good. My friends called and asked how the first day was. It was good. I don't feel like it was anything spectacular, everything went according to plan. I guess in terms of teaching that is spectacular, but I had a sharp realization, that if I don't make this job entertaining for me as well as the children it will promise not to be fun. I am drained by the end of the day like a soapbox politician from spewing the same lesson three times a day. The biggest difference between this year and last year is that I know I am the boss. I am no longer pretending to know how to lead a classroom. I stand in front of the children and I am in charge. I throw around teacher looks that cause children to quiver, and they revert to being absolutely correct. My face reads, "You will rapidly resolve your problem or you will be destroyed by this look on my face alone."

After my first day, I was having some serious doubts about teaching. Things went well but I was not happy. I was not excited. I didn’t get the feeling I was going to be making big strides from last year. I couldn't believe I was going to have to perform this roll for another 179 days. I spoke with my friend G... and after a long conversation we came back to the point that you just need to take care of your own grass. You know, the grass is always greener on the other side, but it's really just because you are slacking on your own lawn maintenance.

So, I whipped up some second day lesson plans and went to work. The day was successful; all went according to plan. But beyond this, I think a step forward was made. I have been preaching about community to everyone. We need to invest students and create a classroom of cooperative learners. Today we went to the carpet, a special place in the classroom. It was nice. The students were silent. They listened to each other. We shared things we liked, then we made statements of appreciation (the students were told to remember something from some of their classmates) and the students connected their statements to those of others. "I really liked what T... said about the color blue because I like the color blue too and it reminds of pretty skies." We reflected and had a meaningful discussion about why it is difficult to share when we are in a big group. Another teacher walked in during this community meeting, and had the look of "What the fudge is Mr. C doing on the floor with these children.” but it was nice and enjoyable and I think everyone felt good. I guess taking care of that grass can mean stepping out of our comfort zone and annexing new lands. This way I can stay busy taking care of a little more grass.