End of break reflection.

What a holiday. Initially I had a negative impression of blogging. I know many of my non-TFA friends do (but thanks for reading). It’s like, look at the dork blogging away in his virtual universe. Where are your real friends buddy? Or, don’t you have better things to do than keep an online journal. Well, in fact I have more things than I can possibly manage to do, but I started blogging to keep in touch with my friends and family who are far away. This isn’t like 15 minutes far away, or a subway ride far away, or even a five-hour drive to Baltimore far away. This is like I live in the middle of an abyss in the least respected place in the country. People try to leave where I have chosen to live. Outsiders say why the “insert explicative here” would you move there. A state representative said that the state congress has been passing laws for over a hundred years that maintain the backwardness of the Delta.

How could you not want to live here? It sits at the top of some very impressive statistical lists. Highest poverty rates in the country, highest teen-age pregnancy rates, highest aids rates, highest murder rates, highest high school drop out rates, etc. But why only mention the lists that we are at the top of. How about lowest rank in education, lowest rank in per capita property ownership, lowest rank of college degrees per capita. Oh that’s right, I was talking about blogging.

I live here and I usually love it. It is brutally lonely and I am subjecting myself to a test of will. I live more removed than any other corp member I know. Other corp members have commented on the crapiness of my beautiful town. So I blog to keep in touch and I live in my little virtual world to keep in touch with my friends and family, who I love and miss dearly. In fact, I find myself yearning to be near civilization and hear Kelly say, "Miko I love you…or scream out Clareeeeeee!" I miss having conversations with Rahul that involve screaming at the top of our lungs. I miss being able to access and see my friends who live scattered on the east coast and through out NYC. I miss seeing my family. I miss conversations with my Uncles about cars and stories about my grandparents. I miss the Castagnola’s and my ever-increasing amount of cousins. I miss all of you. So I blog, and I read the blogs of others as well.

I stayed in Mississippi this Thanksgiving. I had been really excited about it. I planned on getting a lot done. Instead I found myself wallowing in loneliness, laughing at myself as I tried to create a blog post to keep in touch. What the crap is that? I am thankful for all the beautiful people in my life who have enriched my existence and continue to do so. I think about you all, all the time. School starts again in three days and I am glad. I am ready to hook these children to the faucet of knowledge in a place that actively tries to suck the exuberance out of life. The Mississippi Delta is both beautiful and the biggest hellhole this country has to offer. Unmatched sunrises and sunsets, clear night skies littered with stars and the Milky Way is always visible. The people are friendly and the food is delicious even if it is not good for you. It has been my inferno and paradise for almost two years, and maybe it will continue to be so for a bit longer. I have been hanging onto my sanity by a very thin thread this week, and I thank all of you for all the joy you have brought me. It brings me back to earth and lets me overcome what can be Delta induced misery. I give thanks and hope you all had a beautiful holiday.