as of now

I don't know what the deal is but when I log into Blogger from my computer in the US all of the information still appears in Spanish. I suppose it serves as a friendly reminder of good times, people met, and lands explored. It also reminds me of the freedom I currently have. I worked my butt of for the last four years and saved as much money as I possibly could so I could have a piece of time to do with what I wish.

About two weeks ago I was driving around Long Island with an enormous grin on my face. I would be leaving for England in a few days to meet some friends. I smiled and giggled to myself as I thought I can go where ever I want right now. I continue to enjoy freedom by existing outside of our cultural norms. My only fears are for when this time ends and what I will do with any down time. This seems mildly absurd. Concerning myself with downtime speaks to the fact that I am in actuality conforming to the system. I have to use this allotted time to see, do, and experience because I set limits on how long I will have flexible time.

It had been a great desire of mine to go out west and snowboard for the winter. I was inspired as the bleeping screaming of jazz instruments burned through my ears last February. Unfortunately this will not be occurring, I do not have the time to dedicate to the West and the cost of a frivolous vacation is out of the question. Colorado has been subsumed by a trip to Asia instead. The trade is good.

I am now currently putzing around the NY area. I have some job interviews, all of which are excellent opportunities and I truly hope one of them comes to fruition. All involve school working with underserved children. Perfect! Ideally I will obtain the position that starts in August. Please pray and send your good vibes my way. With all these great things happening I still recognize something that weighs me down.

I feel free to move and roam outside of a few artificial barriers. I will definitely regret not trying to hitchhike across the US and getting bum jobs and screaming from the tops of mountains while doing it, but I am free enough. However, I do not feel emotionally free. My heart still yearns for love. I consistently see my friends and family and I love them to pieces, but I miss having a woman in my life and the life, as my cousin so delicately put it, of a gypsy is not conducive. So with loves lost and futures to be found I continue on.