Mafia Terrorist School Teacher on the Loose in Shelby

I went to the Shelby Cash Store to buy an RC Cola and told the shop-keep that I have lost my quarters in the machine outside in the past. He came outside with me and sure enough, clink clink, ka-crash out came my pop. As this was occurring some local man was walking by and started talking about being careful not to blow anything up.

He said again, “Don’t go blowing anything up.” I have no idea what is going on. He said, “Yeah them Al-Qaeda people.” The shop keep who was on his way back inside told me that this gentlemen thinks I am Middle Eastern. Oh, ok. And he says again, “You look like one of them terrorists, you sure you ain’t blowing anything up.”

So, I told him I was Italian and said my last name.
He told me I must be in the mafia.
I told him maybe back in the old country, but here in Shelby I teach fourth grade.
He looked at me crooked eyed and told me I better be careful with the children.

After some more suspect deliberating he came around to shaking my hand and I offered him my blessings. My pop was ice cold and dripping with condensation so I wiped my hand on my pants to clear the water from my palm.

From behind me I hear, “Hey, you wiped you hand.” “What is going on?”, I thought. So, I turned back and went over to the same man who thinks I am a mafia terrorist school teacher. He told me that them white folks wipe their hand after shaking a black man’s hand. I told him that my pop was wet and showed him the can. He was alright with this explanation. Then he went on to tell me about how white folk treat black folk and some of the sly gestures that are made that you only notice if you are paying close attention.

Whoa! Haven’t had a quality Delta moment like this in while.